Race Relations

7 Unassuming Sentiments That Make You ‘Racist’

We have a long way to go with race relations, and it’s safe to assume that if you grew up as the racial majority in America, you may not be aware of all the nuances that might make you seem racist to people of color. But much like putting on too much perfume, you may not be well-intentioned but nevertheless, unassuming of sentiments that make you seem, let’s just say, less than WOKE.

Here’s our list….

1. Saying that dating outside your race is not for you

Often times, what we find as an acceptable partner is based on societal norms or what our peers deem suitable for us. So if you hear the phrase, “ ….I’m not racist, I just prefer my own kind”, then it’s more than obvious your true preference is to be a bigot. (Because Lord knows, behind close doors, you’d change your tune if someone attractive of another race is interested in you ) It’s not like people who date outside of their race are dating chimpanzees. If you have these sentiments, then do us all a favor, keep them to yourself. It doesn’t need to be stated. Those views have expired a long time ago.

2. Claiming you’ve experienced racism and you’re not a person of color

When you hear someone compare their personal plight with racism, it minimizes institutionalized racism. It’s the equivalent of claiming that you’re starving because you’ve missed one meal compared to someone who only eats one meal a day, every day, in a third-world country. Racism is more than just a few moments of experiencing discrimination. Sadly, it’s a way of life for most people of color. If you’ve experienced discrimination, then it obviously pales in comparison to the lifetime of racism people of color go through on a daily basis.

3. Excluding yourself from people of color

Let’s keep it real, if you only associate with people of your own race, outside of your employment, it can be a sign of racist attitudes. Of course, having a person of color as a friend doesn’t exclude you from being racist. Yes, we know that some rural areas have few people of color around, but we’re speaking in broad terms. If your associations with people of another race are minimal at best, then one can easily surmise that you have racist tendencies.

4. Being connected with people on social media who are racist

We get it, we all try to accentuate the good qualities of our friends while extenuating the bad. Maybe you think you’re doing your duty by staying connected to them. But when it comes to that friend, colleague or family member that occasionally espouses racist views on social media, then that’s not something you should ignore.  You are the company you keep as much as you are the food you eat. Those in-laws may be at every family function, and they can be unavoidable. But hopefully you’re not there to exclusively see that racist family member; that’s an entirely different scenario. But there’s no law that states you don’t have to keep them as friends on social media. Stop defending your close associations with racists and bigots, claiming they might come around. Staying silent does nothing but validates their claims. And if they ask why you deleted or blocked them, don’t hesitate to tell them.

5. Fetishizing individuals because of their race

No, this doesn’t mean that you are an active member of the “Klan” or you can be seen at a Trump rally. Many people subconsciously exclude people of color from their inner circle without realizing that this is a form of racism. Some even use sporting events and entertainment as a way to deflect their racist attitudes. Not only is this disingenuous, but it sounds like you view people of color as spectacles rather than individuals.

Chinese girls are hot, Latin men are sexy! Okay, obviously, there are physically attractive people in every race – and it’s completely acceptable to date outside your race. However, focusing on the physical attributes of one particular race is a subconscious decision that you’ve made – and it makes you look ridiculous. Only misguided individuals make it seem like one particular race is more attractive than another. It should go without saying that since there is beauty across multiple races and cultures. Unless it’s necessary for giving a description, then it doesn’t have to be mentioned.

6. Asking people of color about race relations before establishing a relationship

We’re learning, growing and therefore seeking understanding. This does not mean that every person of color can articulate and answer all of your questions. Not everyone is ready or willing to have a race relations conversation – especially when you first meet them. When you ask people of color who you don’t know about race, it also proves that maybe you need to spend more time around people of color in general capacity. Get to know people as individuals, not just as conduits to your inquiries.

7. Telling people of color that we need to come together

With this political climate, it’s easy to notice that the country is divided – and portioning off attitudes as if they’re equal. Let’s stop pretending that we all are a part of the same circle; we’re not! We believe in connecting those who have a similar value system, and who are against discrimination in all its forms. We have no interest in forcing people to “come together” or associate with those who have contempt for them. 

But what’s most offensive, is not realizing that people of color are often the target of those who they have been asked to “come together” with. This may include family members, colleagues or friends. People of color are not simply here to stand in presence for those individuals who need to become woke. There is no amount of congenial persuasion that can convince someone who is a bigot to listen to those who are marginalized – especially if they’re not ready. Let those people come around on their own. 

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